Moving Home After a Life-Changing Event

Life is unpredictable, to say the least, and full of events that can change the direction of our lives in an instant.

One of the results of a life-changing experience is that we reevaluate our lives, we question what is important to us, and often we realise that life is a precious thing that we all too often take for granted.

It does not need to be a pandemic or natural disaster that changes our lives drastically, the break-up of a relationship, being made redundant, failing health, or the death of a loved one can have a profound effect on our lives.

Often many people will choose to move home after a life-changing event, sometimes to escape bad memories, sometimes to create good memories, and always because moving home is a fresh beginning, a way to restart your life.

Here we look at how certain circumstances can affect your life and how moving home is often a response to those events.

You may also like to read: How to Decide If It Is Time to Move Home or Not. In this guide, we suggest things that you may want to consider when deciding if now is the right time to move and some of the alternatives to moving that you could think about.

Would You Move For Love?

Is it worth it to move for love?

Life is way too short to sometimes not take the opportunities for happiness that come your way.

But that does not mean that you have to jump headlong into an abyss without some serious thoughts about the consequences.

You have probably been in a long-distance relationship for some time, but things will be totally different when you give up your familiar life to move to another city.

You will be giving up friends, a job, and perhaps even your family to move to be with your partner.

It is a huge decision to make so here are some points to consider if you are planning to move for love.

• Be totally sure that it is both of you that want to take this next step. Moving to a new city, having to get a new job, and the process of moving home itself is stressful enough, without the added emotion of having to adjust to not being alone anymore.
• Are you and your partner financially stable? Moving home is not cheap, it may take you a while to get a new job, and your partners’ bills will increase with there being two of you to support. The extra stress this may cause you both is worth thinking about.
• Have a backup plan. Hopefully, you won’t need it, but the mental security of having some exit plan if things go wrong is one less thing to cause you worry and stress.
• Consider if overall your quality of life will improve and you will be happier. No matter how much you love your partner if you hate the city you are moving to or there is no work there, you may come to regret your decision to move.

Should I move cities to be with my partner? If you have considered all of the above and the pros outweigh the cons then go for it.

Every decision we make sets us on a new path, and for better or worse, always teaches us something.

You may also like to read: Moving in With a Partner Who Has Kids. Moving to be with someone you love can be the easy part, but often a new partner comes with kids which adds a whole new dimension to the equation. In this guide, we look at the practicalities, pros, and cons of moving in with a partner who has children and also at blending two families together.

Can Moving Out Save a Relationship?

Sometimes we come to a point where a relationship is just too comfortable, we need our own space, to do things that we want to do.

Living with someone can become a habit rather than a need or wanting to be with them.

Moving out of a shared home can often restart a relationship.

You may start to date each other again in the real sense, not taking each other for granted, finding that you actually miss that person so much that you realise that you have to be together.

People change over the years, and if we have spent a long time with someone we may not have appreciated how good those changes were.

Stepping away gives you the opportunity to look at that person with fresh eyes again, to fall in love with the person they have become rather than who they were.

So, yes, moving out can save a relationship, it won’t be an easy decision to make but it could be the catalyst you both need to work harder at your relationship, to find that spark again, and to rediscover each other.

You may also like to read: How to Deal With Emotional Overload When Moving Home. When moving home we experience a whole range of emotions, mixed with the fact you will now be living alone, it is easy to see how you could become overwhelmed by the whole situation. In this guide, we offer practical tips on how to cope with emotional overload.

Should You Move Home After Bereavement?

Having suffered the loss of a loved one it is all too easy to think that moving away will take the pain of loss away, but the added stress of moving home immediately is generally not a good idea.

Ideally, you should allow yourself six to twelve months to come to terms with your loss before making any big decisions.

However, the need to just get away, to have new surroundings is often strong.

In such circumstances, it makes sense to go traveling or rent a place before making any decisions that you may regret later.

If you must move home shortly after losing a loved one then consider where you will move to carefully.

Staying local may be too difficult as certain things may trigger painful memories, but by moving further away you will lose your support network of family and friends.

Thoroughly research any areas that you are thinking of moving to, spend time visiting the area, and if you can, rent a property on a short lease so that you really get to know the area.

When it comes to moving out of your home and you do so before the end of your grieving period, you may be tempted to get rid of the person’s belongings as they are just too painful to have around you.

But over time the pain will ease and you may actually want some small reminders dotted around your new home.

Consider putting their things into storage, it is cheap, and when you are emotionally ready you can decide what to do with those things.

But moving home can give you new interests, a new focus, and a fresh start.

There is a big world out there with lots to experience and enjoy.

Making a calculated and informed decision to move home could be the best thing you ever did and unless you try new things you will never know if it was the right or wrong decision.

And the decision to move home could be based on the fact that you will be moving to be nearer family again.

The realisation that time is short and we are not immortal is a good motivator to refocus us, and wanting to be near family and spend precious time with them is a strong pull.

Moving home may just give you the space and time to adjust to your new circumstances and the opportunity to create a whole new life for yourself.

You may also like to read: How to Overcome Loneliness After a Home Move. Even when surrounded by friends and family we can feel lonely, and after a bereavement, there will be times when you crave company. In this guide, we look at the positive aspects of being alone and how you can make this work to your advantage to have a more rewarding and fulfilling life.

Should I Move Back Home?

Should I move back to my parents’ house?

The family home is usually the safe sanctuary that we retreat to when our world is falling apart.

No matter what our age or circumstances, our parents will always welcome us back with open arms.

Moving back home can make a lot of sense if you need to get your finances in order, if your parents need caring for, or if you are moving back home after a break-up.

And after an event such as the coronavirus pandemic, you may just realise how important it is to be close to your family again.

If you are moving back home to care for a parent then this will take a lot of careful planning and consideration.

• Are you physically and emotionally able to deal with the tasks you will be required to do?
• What are the options if you cannot cope?
• What support is available to help you?
• What role will other family members take?
• How will you survive financially?

Becoming a carer is a big responsibility and a huge emotional burden.

Whilst of course, you want to help as much as you can, sometimes we have to admit that we cannot do what is asked of us safely.

There are many organisations such as Age UK and Citizens’ Advice that will be able to offer you plenty of support and help.

Moving back to live with family after college or after an unexpected event in your life is a big decision.

Both you and your family will have built lives and be used to having their own way of doing things.

If you are moving back home to care for your parents then there may be little choice in the matter, but if you are moving back home due to your personal circumstances then there are certain things that you will need to discuss and sort out about how your reintroduction to the family home will work.

• Consider the pros and cons of moving back home. The benefits and drawbacks for both parties.
• Discuss finances. Every family is different, you may be expected to contribute to the family budget, or your parents may be financially stable enough to support you through this stage of your life. But you should still offer to pay something if you can.
• Agree on some house rules and set boundaries. Both you and your family will have got used to their own space and privacy, it will take time to adjust to being back in the family dynamic. Often, parents will fall back into the parent/child role, wanting to know where you are going, with whom, and what time you will be home. Set some ground rules that you are all comfortable with.
• You should have a clear exit plan if you are returning home until you get yourself back on your feet again. Create a spending budget and stick to it. Discuss how your exit plan is progressing with your parents from time to time so that they are there to encourage and support you.

Moving back to your parents’ home could be an ideal solution especially if you are emotionally vulnerable after a life-changing event.

Make sure you use the time at your parents’ home wisely.

Use it as an opportunity to get financially stable again, but more importantly to regain your emotional strength.

Your parent’s strength and support will be invaluable in this situation and will help you get yourself back on your feet quicker.

Take care of your appearance, get plenty of exercise, make an effort to help as much as possible around the home, and use the opportunity to communicate meaningfully with your parents.

They may be worried about you more than you know, so if you can show how much you appreciate and value their support, and that you are doing all you can to get your life back on track, then the better you all will feel.

You may also like to read: Moving Into a Multigenerational Home – All You Need to Know. Having different generations living under the same roof can be a rewarding yet difficult experience. In this guide, we offer some practical tips on how to make living in a multigenerational home a success.

And on a practical note moving back to your parents may mean that you have to decide what to do with all your possessions from your old home.

It may be that there is no room to store your things at their house, so consider hiring a storage unit, they are fairly cheap and your things will be secure.

A reputable removal company may even have storage facilities that you could hire very reasonably so ask the question.

You may also like to read: How to Choose a Storage Unit. There are many types of storage units available. In this guide, we explain the different storage options so that you can make a more informed decision as to exactly what suits your needs.

Moving to a New City Alone

Having been dealt a wild card by life, you may find yourself having to move to a new city alone.

Moving home is an emotional rollercoaster at the best of times but moving home on your own throws additional challenges your way, especially if you are unfamiliar with the new city.

Now throw in the emotions that you are experiencing finding yourself in this situation and this is going to take some careful and considered handling.

First and foremost you are going to have to take control of the situation. There are lots of positive things you can do to make that happen.

And you CAN do this, you are far stronger than you think.

You may also like to read: What is the Fear of Moving and How to Overcome It. Very often our anxiety about making a decision prevents us from making any decision at all. The fear of moving is very real for many people so in this guide we suggest ways to face your fears and make that home move happen.

First off, let’s get a huge weight off your shoulders.

Packing and moving home is stressful and time-consuming. Hire a good removal company to take care of the packing and moving of your things for you.

With that major part of your home moving jigsaw out of the way you can prepare yourself for your move to a new city.

Research. Research. Research.

The more you know about your new city the better. Join online forums, many cities have their own websites that have a ton of useful information and use social media, again many cities have social media pages and groups.

If you are moving to a new city alone you may be on a tight budget.

Look at the websites for universities in the city you are moving to. They will often list the best student areas to live in, these tend to be the cheaper areas of the city, they know where all the bargain shops are, what stores to shop at, where the best bars and clubs are, and they have a wealth of information if you are moving on a budget.

You may also like to read: How to Make a New Place Feel Like Home. In this guide, we suggest ways to help you settle into your new area quickly and easily. This is essential to stave off relocation depression and will get your new life off to a flying start.

Once you have safely moved into your new place in the new city, make your place feel like home as soon as you can.

Unpack some key items first that will make you comfortable and safe. Have familiar things around you that will help stave off relocation depression.

Then get out and meet your new neighbours.

Yes, that may be daunting on your own, but they will have a wealth of information to help you settle into your new home quicker.

Then it is time to explore your new city. Discover where your favourite clothes shop or coffee house is, again, familiar things from your old life will make the new city feel not quite so alien.

Think about volunteering in your local community, joining social groups, the local gym, or the slimming club.

All of these things will help you integrate into city life and give you a brand new social circle.

In the early days, you will still need your old support network of family and friends, and the internet is a quick and easy way to keep those friendships alive.

Remember that your friends and family may be concerned about you moving to a new city alone, so stay in regular contact to reassure them what a great decision you made moving home.

Moving by yourself to a new city is not easy and adjusting to your new life will take effort on your part. It will take time to adjust to your new life, so be patient.

Fill your spare time with new activities or restarting an old hobby. This will help stave off homesickness and depression.

Build a daily routine. If you used to go jogging at 7am, go jogging. If you always had coffee at 10.30, have coffee at 10.30. You may find however that your new city offers you exciting new opportunities to fit into your day and they will become a welcome addition to your daily routine.

Take time to reflect on how brave you were to move to this new city on your own. But you did it. Now have faith that you made the right decision and that you are going to create an amazing new life for yourself.

A new city can open up a world of new possibilities for you, you had the courage to move to a new city alone, and you have proven you have more than enough courage to try new things and embrace a new life.

You may also like to read: Moving to a New City Alone. In this guide, we offer lots of practical advice for anybody thinking of moving to a new city alone.

Of course, these are just a few examples of events that we may face during our lives, there are plenty more, but we all face uncertain times, and life-changing events throughout life.

Invariably we come out the other side stronger, better people.

Is moving home the right response in every case, no, but often it is the catalyst we need to reinvent ourselves, to focus on the importance of our loved ones, and realise just how important our home and where we live are to the quality of our life.

Moving to a more beautiful, more tranquil, more exciting, more invigorating place may just be the answer.