How Do You Fall In Love With a Home You Hate?

There’s no place like home, in fact, what other building could trigger such emotions in us or could have such a positive or negative effect on our mental well-being?

The feeling of being home, where you belong, is an emotion that is impossible to replicate.

We invest so many emotions in our homes that when it is time to move it is akin to the break-up of a long-term relationship. A home really can break your heart.

Or like a long-time partner that you just take for granted or lose the spark with, you can find yourself falling out of love with a house. So you move.

And then your new place just doesn’t feel like home, the familiarity, cosiness, sense of security, and peacefulness are missing.

There are no memories, no sentimental bonds.

So in this week’s home moving blog, we look at the love/hate relationship we share with our home and how to kindle that love, how to leave a home you love, and how to learn to love your new home.

Is It Normal to Have an Emotional Attachment to a Home?

Emotional attachment is the affection or closeness we feel for something or someone.

If we have an emotional attachment then we tend to feel happy, comfortable, and safe, all things that we would associate with a home we love.

And our emotional attachment to our home is a result of the memories created there: your first home, your children being born, or your milestone birthday, even in a short period of time your home will have hosted events that form memories for you.

The longer you live in a property, the stronger and more numerous those memories and sentimental events will be.

It is the environment, the home which helped create these memories, so you, therefore, have a strong emotional link between the property and those cherished moments.

The reality of course is the home was only a stage for those events, the memories will always be with you, but buildings decay, get altered, and redecorated.

Homes that have been in the family for generations are especially difficult to disconnect from, you feel obligated to live there or you will somehow destroy the memories that were created there.

And that is one of the reasons why moving home seems so stressful, especially as we get older.

Whilst the stress of the physical move can be alleviated by hiring a good removal company, detaching yourself emotionally from the home is far harder. 

Being emotionally attached to your home is perfectly normal and in a later section, we will look at how to leave a home you love.

How Do You Fall Back in Love With a Home?

As with most relationships, there are times when the love wanes, when there is not that deep affection that there once was.

You start taking it for granted, you stop thinking how incredibly lucky you are and appreciating all the reasons why you once loved your home so much.

You start to notice the imperfections, and the small things start to annoy you more and more.

You wish your home was bigger, or smaller, more suitable for your life now.

Soon the little annoying things become huge problems in your mind, your home no longer fulfills your needs, and the hate for your home starts to grow and fester.

It is then that you will start to consider moving home, to find a better, more attractive home.

Often though, there is no need to move, you just need a session of relationship therapy to rekindle your love for your home.

So how do you learn to love your home again or how do you learn to love a home you hate?

Start by identifying what is annoying you or you dislike about the home. Once you know the problems, you can start to work on the solutions.

And whilst you are considering what needs putting right, take time to remember why you fell in love with the home in the first place.

Small changes can make a big difference to your home, and how you feel about it, so try these few simple tricks.

#1 Declutter

Over time we accumulate more and more possessions, so the once spacious hallway for example is now crammed full of coats for every season.

Decluttering your home can make a huge difference. Not only will it be easier to clean but it will free up lots more space too.

And if there is a piece of furniture or an object that brings you no joy or usefulness then get rid of it.

You may also like to read: The Epic Guide to Decluttering. In this guide, we offer tips for decluttering every room of the home as well as advice on her to emotionally detach yourself from your possessions which is often the hardest part of decluttering.

#2 Rearrange Furniture

Just rearranging the furniture in your home can give you a new perspective and totally change the look of the home.

Use a floor plan to try different layouts rather than breaking your back moving furniture about for hours.

Look at different storage options for your home, making use of the full heights of walls, or under-bed storage.

You may also like to read: How to Make a Simple Floor Plan. In this guide, we show you how to measure your furniture and home to enable you to make a simple floor plan.

#3 Redecorate

A fresh lick of paint or even a new colour scheme may be just what you need to refresh your love for your home.

New curtains or soft furnishings, new bed linen, or even different coloured towels in the bathroom can change how you see your home.

You may also like to read: Which Are The Top UK Home Blogs to Follow? If you need inspiration for decorating or furnishing your home, redesigning the garden, or even cleaning it, then here we list our favourite blogs that will help you with any task you have around the home.

#4 Extend or Renovate

You may find that the space in the home just does not meet your needs now.

Rather than moving it may be more cost-effective to build an extension, convert a loft, or install a garden office.

Often repurposing rooms, rearranging or removing furniture, or having multipurpose furniture can free up that bit of space you need.

#5 Pamper Your Home

Spend some time giving your home a spring clean, some fresh flowers, or a few new plants. A good tidy-up and a clean-through will make your home look so much better and will help you reconnect with it.

Candles and oil diffusers can add a nice ambiance and fill the home with pleasant smells, as well as help create an inviting atmosphere.

You may also like to read: How to Make a Home Feel More Relaxing. In this guide, we offer some tips on how to make your home more cozy and relaxing.

#6 Make Repairs

Little things that annoy you can soon add up making you resent certain aspects of the home.

So if you have hinges that squeak, oil them, doors that don’t close properly, rehang them, a doormat that shifts every time you step on it, use carpet grip, or a kitchen with no space, clear the worktops.

You cannot love a home that does not work for you or that makes things inconvenient.

Make your home as functional and as easy to live in as possible, keep the things you use regularly to hand, and the seldom-used items shut away.

#7 Give Some Kerb Appeal

What you see from the outside sets the tone for how you feel about your home.

A few well-placed plants, a new coat of paint, or even just cleaning the windows can make a difference in how you view your home.

Replacing cracked concrete paths with new slabs or coloured stones or removing an oversized bush could be all it takes to totally change the face of your home.

You could ask friends and family how they think the front aspect of your home could be improved.

A simple ‘What can I do with the front garden’ on social media to your friends will get you loads of suggestions and helpful ideas.

You may also like to read: How to Improve the Kerb Appeal of Your Home. In this guide, we give you lots of useful tips and ideas to make the front of your home look more appealing.

#8 Show Your Home Off

Sharing a few images of your home on social media is sure to attract some likes and positive comments which will help you realise just how much you really love your home.

And there may even be a few suggestions on how you can improve it even further.

#9 Take Time to Reflect

Finally, we all take our good fortune for granted.

There will always be people with bigger, prettier, more modern, more beautiful homes than you.

Equally, there are many many people who would give anything to live in the home you do.

Reminding ourselves just how lucky we are, appreciating what we have, and not coveting what others have, will soon have you falling back in love with the home you have created.

How Do You Let Go Of a Home You Love?

Sometimes we have no choice but to move out of a home we absolutely love.

If you have lived in the home for many years then you will be more likely to view where you live as a home rather than a house.

This makes moving so much more stressful and difficult because your heart is saying stay even if your head knows that leaving is the right thing to do.

So how do you break that emotional attachment so that you can move on with your life?

#1 Sell Your Property, not Your Home

If you think of your property as a home then it will be harder to detach yourself from it, if you think of it as just bricks and mortar, it will be easier to leave.

So focus on the fact that you are leaving a building, the building was just a backdrop to the memories that were created there.

The people who created those memories are not brick and mortar and will go on to create more wonderful memories with you.

#2 Start Packing Early

The sooner you start packing away all the things that trigger your happy memories the easier it will become to detach yourself from the home.

Pack away all those personal mementos, family photos, and things that are personal to you.

This will immediately change the feel of the home for you, it will become less familiar to you and therefore will help break the attachment you have to the place.

This will also help any potential buyers who will be able to picture themselves living in your current home more easily if there are not all your personal items on display.

You may also like to read: How to Stage a Home for Selling. In this guide, we offer some great ideas to make your home stand out from the crowd when you are trying to sell it.

#3 Focus On Your New Life

Whether the move from this home you love is forced upon you or it makes sense for so many other reasons, the fact is you are moving on in your life.

Focus on all the positive aspects of the move, every cloud has a silver lining, so no matter how much you do not want to move, there will be positives.

Discuss and plan your new life with family and friends concentrating on all the great aspects of your new home and life.

You may also like to read: How to Move Out of a Home You Love. How to fall out of love with a home is such a complex issue that we have dedicated a whole article to this subject which explores ways in which you can cope with leaving a home that you love.

How Do You Fall in Love With a New Home?

Moving into a new place is strange, it just does not feel like home, we have no connection, no emotional attachment.

We often love aspects of the new place such as the light rooms, the garden, or the extra space, but we are not in love with the home yet.

So here are some ideas to help you bond and fall in love with your new home:

#1 Unpack the Moving Boxes

Unpack your moving boxes as soon as you can.

Firstly, you do not want to live amongst a mountain of boxes that you need to search through every time you need something, but most importantly, the sooner your personal items are unpacked, the more familiar your surroundings will become.

And that is the key to making your new place feel like home, get your favourite ornaments out or pictures on the walls, and put some live plants around the home.

An empty house can never feel like home, you need to inject some life into the building, things that will generate a feeling of warmth and happiness.

You may also like to read: How Not to Get Overwhelmed Unpacking After a Home Move. Facing a mountain of moving boxes to unpack can be overwhelming. In this guide, we offer tips on how to pack to make unpacking easier, how to motivate yourself to start unpacking, and also a useful unpacking strategy.

#2 Appreciate the Good Things

Take time to really appreciate the good things about your new home.

That could be that you now have a balcony or a garden, an extra bedroom, or fewer rooms to clean.

Look for all the positive things about your new place and how they will make your life easier or better.

You may also like to read: The Bright Side of Moving Home. In this guide, we look at all the positive aspects of moving home and why it can often be the start of a great new life.

#3 Start Making Routines

Everything about moving home is unsettling and this can cause us to resent the move.

Most people need routine and familiarity in their lives so start making routines in your new home as soon as possible.

From taking the dog for a walk to what time you go to bed, establishing routines gives us a sense of normality.

Once we have established this normality then it will be easier to start creating memories and an emotional attachment to our new home.

You may also like to read: Help – I Can’t Settle in my New Home. In this guide, we look at why people find it hard to settle into a new home. We also offer some tips to help you settle into your new home and new area quicker which will also help prevent relocation depression.

#4 Have a Home Warming Party

A quick and easy way to start to love your new home is to host a homewarming party.

Not only is this a great way to get to meet the new neighbours, but they are sure to make lots of positive comments about your home, confirming what a great decision it was to move here.

You will be making new memories, and new friends, and forming a bond with your new home.

You may also like to read: How to Throw an Unforgettable Homewarming Party. From how to prepare your home for the party, how to be a perfect host, to how to clean up after all the guests have gone, this is a really useful guide to holding a homewarming party

#5 Explore the Neighbourhood

The area in which you live is an important component of how you feel about the new home.

Take time to get out and explore, the more familiar you are with your surroundings the happier you will be in your new home.

Find a great coffee shop or a beautiful park to explore, find a spot where you can just appreciate your new surroundings, and reflect on what a great place this is to live.

And of course, the more times you go out, the more times you will need to come home.

Every time you come home, just take a second to look at your new home and acknowledge how very lucky you are.

You may also like to read: How to Make a New Place Feel Like Home. In this guide, we suggest ways to help you get to know your new neighbourhood, how to become familiar with your new surroundings, and how to start feeling that your new neighbourhood is your home.

#6 Personalise Your New Home

One of the quickest ways to fall in love with a new home is to redecorate it.

Once you have put your personal stamp on the property it will really start to feel like your home.

And as you decluttered before you moved home, your new home now only contains things that you really need and love.

Don’t forget that it is really important that your front door is welcoming, it is often overlooked, but if you love what you see as you approach your home, it sets your mood for when you enter the home.

You could also consider giving your home a name, something unique that perfectly describes your home or the surrounding area for example.

You may also like to read: What Should I Name My Home? Naming your home is an easy way to make it personal to you, and to create a unique connection. In this guide, we offer tips on how to choose a name, some unique name suggestions, and even tips on how to display the name of your home.

#7 Take off Your Rose Tinted Glasses

We often romanticise our old home, thinking how wonderful this or that was, which prevents us from letting go so that we can devote our love to our new home.

Just think of the things that were not so great or that used to annoy you about your old home.

It can even be useful to revisit the old home to see just how skewed our memory of the home is.

Some people find that after the new owners have redecorated their old home it ceases to hold the attraction or emotional attachment that it did before.

This can bring people closure so that they can move on with their lives.

#8 Relax and Let Love Take Its Course

You are unlikely to fall madly in love with your house straight away.

It takes time to create that bond, to get your home set up how you want, and to start making those memories.

Take your time, you will not feel settled or ‘at home’ from day one.

Take each day at a time, make little improvements each day, and make the house your home steadily and surely.

Home is a State of Mind, a House is a Building

Our homes represent a huge investment in terms of money, time, and emotion.

But there is a huge difference between the property being just a building and a home.

For some people where they live is just an investment or a place to sleep, for others, it is a safe sanctuary.

And for many, their home is the cornerstone of their life.

It is a place where they bring the family together, where they create memories, or it is the one place they can be themselves.

In our home moving blog, there is a selection of guides that cover the emotions of moving home, the difficulties of adapting to a new place, and creating the life you dreamt of when you moved.

Take the time to read them as it will make the transition to your new home so much easier.

Moving home is considered one of the most stressful things someone can do.

But physically moving home does not have to be stressful, in fact, a good removal company will make it easy.

The real issue with moving home is breaking away from the emotional attachment you had with your old home and learning to love your new home whilst adapting to your new life. 

Take your time, embrace the challenges a new home presents to you, and enjoy the new adventures that await you.

Good luck.