The fear of having the chat is often worse than the reality

Moving home is an exciting prospect for you but for those around you, the news that you are moving away will likely be met with a range of emotions.

Some people will be excited for you, others distraught that you are moving away, some may encourage and support you, and others may try to change your mind.

When and how you tell family and friends that you are moving can be a delicate balance depending upon how you think that person will react.

I remember dreading telling my mother that I was emigrating.

Although I did not live local to her it was only a couple of hours’ drive, now I was moving thousands of miles away, she was in poor health, and getting home in an emergency would not be easy.

I kept putting off the inevitable conversation until I could no longer.

When we finally had the conversation, her reaction was “Oh, that will be nice for you”. No tears, no anger, no worry. Nothing. Just as if I said I was popping to Brighton for the weekend.

All that time I feared having that conversation was for nothing.

You never know how people will react until you have that conversation.

The Announcement Strategy

A good strategy is to think about how the people you need to tell will likely respond.

Have the conversation in your head and prepare some answers for each response you may get.

Here are 5 examples of the responses you may get and how to prepare your answers:

#1 Why are you moving away? – Some people may be curious, and some incredulous that you would want to move away. Consider how much you want to tell people, but have a list of credible reasons why now is the right time to move.

#2 Can you afford to move? More likely to come from parents than friends, so work out a budget and clearly demonstrate to them that you have done the math.

#2 We will lose contact – It is easy to keep in contact no matter where you are in the world. From instant messaging to social media, email, to letters, there is no excuse for not keeping in contact with someone when you move away.

#3 When can I come to visit? – Be realistic about having people come to stay at your new place. You may want help setting up your new home or you may want to get yourself organised before having any visitors. So think if you need some help or a little space before having people come to stay.

#4 How often will you come back? – If you are moving overseas then realistically you will rarely come home. Even moving a few hundred miles away getting back to see family and friends may be difficult, life has a habit of getting in your way. So be realistic, it is better to under-promise than over-promise which could cause you problems in the future.

#5 Why are you moving there? – People may want to try and understand why you are moving to a certain place. Have a list of all the great reasons why moving to that particular place makes sense for you.

There is probably a whole range of other reactions that you can think of that your friends and family will throw at you, so just prepare your answers accordingly.

These days distances mean very little, travel is fast, and communication is instant so moving away does not have to mean the end of a friendship or relationship.

Of course, there will be people that you will lose contact with after moving, but then they could not have been such an important part of your life if they so easily drifted out of it.

And there will definitely be people that you will want to remain in your life after relocating.

Telling them sympathetically, taking into account their emotions, will help you keep those people close.

You may also like to read: How to Cope With Emotional Overload When Moving Home. Moving home is certainly an emotional rollercoaster. In this guide, we share some strategies to help you cope with all the different emotions you are likely to experience during your home move.

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How to Tell Your Family You Are Moving Out

Your parents may not be as devasted about the news of you moving out as you think.

Moving out for the first time is a big decision and your parents will likely be worried for you. Therefore you need to have a rock-solid plan to convince them that you are ready to make this move.

Once you have made the decision that you are going to move, start assembling a skill set for living on your own.

Learn how to cook, use a washing machine, how to budget for shopping, how to clean, and how to do basic household repairs.

Next, work out your budget.

Make a list of all your monthly outgoings so that you can see exactly how much you will have for rent, utilities, and groceries.

Then search in the area you want to move to to see exactly what places are available in your price range.

Now make a list of all the pros and cons of moving out of your parents’ home, you need to demonstrate that you have thoroughly thought this through.

Finally, have a Plan B just in case your plans don’t work out. That may be getting a lodger to help with the bills or moving into a friend’s place.

Now you are in a position to confidently present your plan to your family.

If you think one parent will react favourably, and the other will react badly, you may want to talk to the amiable parent first so that they can help you broach the subject with the other parent.

Don’t tell them your plans at the last minute, you have had time to think and adjust, they will need that time too.

Pick a time and place to tell them your plan where they are relaxed and there are no distractions.

Present your plan calmly and listen to their feedback. If your moving plan is rock-solid then it should answer all of their questions.

Then give them time to get used to the idea of you moving out.

You can even include them in your plans by getting them to accompany you on viewings or visiting the area you are thinking of moving to.

You may also like to read: How to Move Out of Your Parents’ Home in which we look in more detail at how to move out for the first time

Of course, this approach will only work if you have a good relationship with your family.

It may be that you need to move out secretly in which case we would recommend that you read How to Move Out Without Anyone Knowing for more advice.

How to Tell My Parents I’m Moving In With My Boyfriend / Girlfriend

Once you have decided to move in with your partner, plan how to tell your parents

Whilst if you are 18 or over you don’t need your parents’ permission to move in with your partner, it is best not to burn your bridges.

Just like moving out for the first time to live on your own or with friends, you need a game plan.

Prove that you have thought this through, listen to what your parents have to say and stay calm.

Give your parents plenty of time to get used to the idea so that they can be a part of the moving out process.

Choose a good time and place to tell them you are moving in with your boyfriend or girlfriend. A time when everyone is relaxed and there are no distractions.

If you are in a long-term relationship, then the news will probably be no shock to your family, on the other hand, if it is a fairly new relationship then they will likely be far more concerned and have many more questions.

Once you have had the initial conversation with your parents then you may want to invite your parents to get together with you and your partner.

This will allow them to get to know your partner better if they don’t already, but will also demonstrate that moving in together is a decision that you have made together after careful consideration.

Something that you may want to think about before deciding to move in with your boyfriend or girlfriend:

If you are dreading telling your parents, is it because you know they have concerns? Are they seeing red flags that you are not or that you are ignoring?

We all think we know best, but ultimately your parents will want the best for you, listen to what they have to say, think about it, and then review your decision.

At the end of the day, it is your life and your decision, and no matter what you decide, your parents are likely to stand by you, but there is no point in making life difficult for yourself.

And like most big decisions in life, ensure you have a Plan B.

You might like to read: Tips for Moving In Together which offers tips on how to decide where to live, how to set family budgets, and how to sort out all the things that will get your new life together off to the best possible start.

How to Tell Family You Are Moving

Telling older parents you and your family are moving away will take tact and diplomacy

As an adult, you are going to have to make decisions that are best for you or for your own family that may upset others.

Moving away from your family, especially older parents, may be one of those tough decisions that you will need to make.

Just as you did when you left home for the first time, you need to have a sensible and rational discussion with your parents.

Explain what a great opportunity it is for your own family, and whilst being sympathetic to how your parents will feel, they should know that it is your decision, not theirs.

They may be concerned about their own welfare as they get older, that they will be missing out on seeing their grandchildren grow up, and that you will not have the support network of your family around you.

You may want to explore the possibility of them moving to the same area too, or even coming to live with you.

You may also like to read: Moving Into a Multigenerational Home: All You Need to Know. If you are considering having your parents move in with you or you in with them, then this is an invaluable guide. From the pros and cons to practical tips for setting up a multigenerational home, this guide has some practical tips and also things to consider carefully.

Explain how you will still keep in contact, that they can still see you and your family via live video calls, and how they can come to visit, or you will come back to visit them.

Explain that you are not abandoning them, you have considered all the options, but at the end of the day, you have to do what is right for you and best for your family.

This is never going to be an easy conversation, but one that you should have sooner rather than later.

It would be terrible if your parents heard the news of your relocation from someone else, so be sure to tell them before you tell your extended family and friends.

You might like to read: 20 Tips for Moving With a Young Family which is full of handy tips about moving home with youngsters and teenagers.

When and How Should I Tell My Kids We Are Moving?

Getting your kids involved in the home moving process will help them accept the changes more easily

Moving home can be hugely unsettling for kids so their wellbeing must be your primary concern.

You will need to communicate clearly, simply, and frequently with your kids during the moving process.

Ideally, you should tell your kids as soon as you have decided to move and have found your new home so that they have plenty of time to prepare themselves mentally.

Use soft toys to help explain things to younger children, or perhaps toy trucks to show how your things will be moved to your new home.

This is likely the first time they have ever lived anywhere else, so get them involved in the move as much as possible.

Have pictures of the new home and the area you are moving to, and show them on a map exactly where they will be living.

Google Street Map will be a great aid in helping show your kids the new neighbourhood and helping them get used to the area.

Show them all the great places to explore, the new things they will see, the great parks or sports facilities, as well as their new school.

Before the actual move, try to get to visit the area you are moving to so that they can get used to it.

Make a huge adventure out of the move so that they see it as something exciting to look forward to.

Get them involved in the move, if they are old enough then they can help pack their own rooms.

Make a fort or cars from boxes so that they get used to them being in the house and they will see this as a fun time.

If they are too young to do that, pack their toys and bedroom last and ensure that their bedroom is one of the first to be set up.

Make the packing another adventure so that they do not think you are throwing their things away.

When you get to your new home the children will need familiar things around them, soft toys, night lights, or a favourite blanket. So make sure you know exactly which moving box these things are packed in.

Then set up routines as quickly as possible. The sooner the child sees and feels familiar things, the sooner they will settle into the new home.

You may also like to read:

Dido the Dragon Moves Home which is a storybook we have written to help younger children cope with a home move. It also contains some useful tips for you that will help you navigate your young children through the emotions they will experience.

How to Move Home with a Teenager offers lots of practical tips on how to make the move to a new home easier for them. From helping them accept the changes that are happening and how to build themselves a new life in a new area.

How Do You Tell Friends You Are Moving Away?

A going-away party is a great way to say goodbye to everyone face to face

Having told your close family that you are moving home, it is now time to break the news that you are moving to your friends.

If you think that the news may leak via your family then you will want to tell your closest friends as soon after telling your close family as possible.

Don’t put off telling your friends you are moving, they may end up feeling hurt and that they do not matter to you if they find out from somebody else.

You need to consider how each friend will react and which would be the best way to tell them you are moving.

They will likely be very happy for you but also incredibly sad, so telling them in a relaxed and private environment will probably be best.

You may want to tell some friends individually, whilst others could be told via social media or a phone call.

Think about how emotional they can be and how close you are to determine how you will break the news you are moving.

Explain what a great opportunity this move is for you, but be sympathetic to how your friends will react.

Reiterate how important your friends are to you and have a contact plan to reassure them that you will not be disappearing from their lives.

Think about how practical it will be for them to come to visit you, or how often you will come back to see them.

If you are not hiring a removal company to help you move home you could invite your friends to help you pack and move so that they are part of the adventure.

For those friends that you are not so close to, you may choose to create a Facebook page and invite them to join so that you can break the news to them that way.

And finally, a going-away party is a great way to say your final goodbyes face to face, you could even organise a packing party or a decluttering party where they can take home with them the things you won’t be taking with you if they want them.

You may like to read: 22 Really Useful Ways to Help a Freind Move Home. If your friends are eager to help you move home but perhaps cannot help with the physical aspect of the move then this guide has suggestions for 22 ways they can help without lifting a single box.

How to Tell Family and Friends You Are Retiring Abroad?

Family and friends will be queuing up to come to visit when you retire abroad

There are many advantages to retiring abroad, and more and more people are taking the plunge to make that move in later life.

But one of the biggest fears people thinking of retiring abroad have is that they will miss their family and friends too much.

The reality is that yes, there will be times when you miss them, but with video calls and most of the popular retirement destinations only a couple of hours away by plane, it will not be as big an issue as you or they fear.

In fact, you will find that you will see more of your family and friends as they will be eager to visit another country.

Not only that but they will come for extended stays allowing you to spend quality time together creating memories that will last a lifetime.

 So although telling family and friends that you are retiring abroad is going to be emotional, there are many benefits for both you and them that will help you sell the idea.

And in most cases, people who retire abroad do so to a country that they have visited many times and know well. So it may come as no surprise to family and friends that you are going to move to that country.

However, people will react in different ways when you tell them.

Family may be worried about healthcare or your finances, whilst friends may be sad, or even a little jealous.

You will no doubt have planned your retirement abroad down to the finest detail so you will have ready answers to the fears that your family may express.

And some friends may even be so jealous that you lose contact with them, but then maybe they weren’t that good a friend anyway.

Explain how you have planned for family and friends to visit you so that they can see you are not abandoning them, but including them in your new life.

You may even plan return visits which you have budgeted for, so explain that to your family and friends to show that you will come back occasionally to see them.

It will take time for family especially to get used to the idea, so be patient with them, and answer their questions as best you can.

At the end of the day, it is your decision, it is your life, and whilst there will be those who are dead set against you leaving, they will eventually accept your decision.

Involve your friends and family in the preparations for your relocation abroad so that they feel part of the process if you think that will help them accept the situation better.

And this is the perfect opportunity to declutter and downsize your possessions.

If you have heirlooms you may want to pass them on now so that you can see your family enjoying them.

A farewell party will be a great opportunity to say bon voyage to family and friends and will be a perfect time to take lots of photos to take to your new home and for family and friends to have.

You may like to visit our library of international moving guides which will help make your retirement abroad easier and cheaper, from how to declutter for a home move, to how to choose the best international removal company.

Moving Away From Family and Friends

Staying in touch after moving away has never been easier

Moving away from family and friends is never easy, along with decluttering sentimental items, it is the most emotionally draining part of relocating.

A good removal company will take care of physically moving you to your new home, but dealing with the emotional side of moving home is yours to deal with.

Choose when, where, and how you tell family and friends you are moving carefully, consider their feelings, plan your responses, and know that it will take time for people to understand and accept your reasons for moving away.

Make your moving home announcement with consideration and compassion, broken bridges can sometimes never be repaired.

Good luck, and we hope when you do tell family and friends of your exciting home move that they share your happiness and good fortune.

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