Tips for Moving House With a Teenager

If you were ever to think that your teenage son or daughter doesn’t have a real job, you’d be wrong.

Teenagers have a full-time 24-hour-a-day job just struggling with being who they are – vulnerable adolescents who are caught in the funny period between the carefree joys of childhood and the exhausting responsibilities of adulthood.

Combine these daily struggles of the teen years with the notorious stress and anxiety of moving house and you get yourself a home-made explosive mixture that’s ready to wreak havoc at the push of a button if you dare to mishandle it.

The moment your move to another city becomes a fact, you should think of the best ways to break the news to your son or daughter, and then of practical ways to calm their fears, rekindle their hope, and get them actively involved throughout the residential move.

Take advantage of our tried and true tips for moving house with a teenager to help your teenager cope with moving when it matters the most.

You may also like to read: How and When to Tell Family and Friends You Are Moving Home. There are some really useful tips on how to break the news of your home move to your family in this guide.

How to Tell Teenagers About Moving Home

Teenagers will react differently to the news of moving to another home in another city and there’s no way of knowing exactly how your child will respond to that life-changing update until you tell them.

Proceed with extreme caution when breaking the relocation news to them and treat the whole situation as if you were making your way through a minefield.

Time to do the talk

You need to have a serious talk with your teenager as soon as the relocation is confirmed simply because this will give them more time to process the idea of leaving their comfort zone and thus prepare mentally for the move.

• React quickly and don’t let your teenager learn about the upcoming relocation from a person other than you or your spouse. Otherwise, your child might assume that you’re deliberately withholding that piece of important information from them to put them at an obvious disadvantage by waiting to announce the move when they have no time to do anything about it.
• Explain to your teenager in a logical progression the true reasons for moving to another city and be a straight shooter from start to finish.
• Prepare in advance a mental list of all the positive aspects that the move will bring for the entire family and be sure to mention repeatedly the specific benefits for your teenage child: a better school, new friends, and more exciting adventures.
• Don’t forget that this is not a monologue but a dialogue, so encourage your teenager to voice what’s in their mind when you’re finished explaining what lies ahead of the family as a unit. Encourage your child to speak openly and frankly about their feelings concerning the future house move and listen well to what they have to say.
• If the talk goes well, you’ll be lucky to have another ally on your side during this tough transitional period. However, don’t get your hopes too high because the move means they are about to lose the security of their current home and good friends. And as you will probably notice, some teens will not give up their sense of security without a fight.
• Be mindful that even your heartfelt attempts to reason with your teenager may fail which could turn your home into a temporary battlefield. Overreactions such as angry retorts, uncharacteristic whining, pleading tears, slammed doors, periods of silence, and other tactical wartime arsenal should not discourage you but only encourage you to show a deeper understanding of the emotional turmoil your son or daughter must be in.
• You shouldn’t get worried if your teen child does overreact to the news of moving to a new home. Do not force things but give them sufficient time to process the upcoming change on their own. Stomping your foot to show your authority will only make things worse and diminish your chances of winning your teenager over to your side.
• Speaking of winning, your best chance for victory is to prove your negotiating skills. Ask your teen to prepare a list of wishes, go through that list carefully, and discuss each item openly. Remember that the more you are willing to fulfill your teenager’s more sensible wishes, the more your child will be willing to get involved in the moving preparations and help you move to your new home.

You may also like to read: The Bright Side of Moving Home. By highlighting all the positive aspects of your home move, your teenager may just come to realise what a great opportunity it is for them to start a fresh life with some great new opportunities.

Time to say goodbye

Saying goodbye is never an easy thing to do. And when it comes to the two things that matter the most to teenagers, friends, and school, your child will have an even harder time saying farewells to their loyal friends and familiar school.

Friends are everything for a teenager. You need to understand that teens invest a mind-boggling amount of time and energy trying to fit into their social circle. While still in search of their true identity, teenagers are learning the proper ways to socialise, interact successfully, and have good times with their pals.

Discuss with your child how they prefer to have their goodbye – a big farewell party at your home or a weekend get-together with their buddies. Whatever they choose, be supportive and help them plan the event.

Buy your teenage kid a fancy address book and remind them to exchange postal and e-mail addresses, as well as social network accounts so that your child can stay in touch with their friends after the relocation to a new city is a fact.

Even if your teenager doesn’t fully realise it, they will eventually find new friends in the new place, maybe even find friends for life there.

Do your best to convey this notion to your downhearted teen – unfortunately, life forces all of us to do things we don’t want to do and acceptance is usually the best way to move on.

The school takes center stage for a teenager. If at all possible, try to schedule your move in a way that will prove to be the least disruptive one for your teenager’s academic year.

More often than not, it’s better to move house after the end of the school year or at least in between terms so that your child can start the next term anew at the new school.

On the other hand, your teenager may prefer to move to the new city midterm so that they can jump right into the school routine and thus accelerate the adaptation process.

Either way, give your son or daughter a choice and be sure to honour their decision if you can.

You may also like to read: How to Cope With Emotional Overload When Moving Home. How your teenager reacts to the news of your home move will only add to the thousand and one other emotions that moving home stirs in you. In this guide, we look at how to cope with all the different emotions you experience when moving home.

Time to keep your teenager involved

How to help a teenager cope with moving to a new city?

A proven method for helping a teenager handle a house move is to keep them as involved in the relocation process as possible.

This tactical move will not only take their minds off their current frustration but their timely assistance will speed up the moving preparations as well.

• Consult with your teenager frequently about various moving-related matters so that they feel that they’re playing an important part in this relocation adventure. Teens like it when they know that their opinions matter.
• If you haven’t found a new home yet, get their input on what type of house or apartment they would like to live in and encourage them to help you find it. This is important as your teenage son or daughter can give you a radically different point of view and point out something that you haven’t thought of yet.
• Get your teenager to help you find the best removal company by reading together moving reviews and comparing received price offers. Their assistance in finding a reputable professional relocation partner will make them feel part of the important moving decisions.
• Give your teen child a meaningful project to complete so that they contribute significantly to the move. Ask them to pack their room themselves or whatever other moving tasks need to be tended to until moving day.
• Assign your teen child a special mission – to find more information about the new city you’re moving to. The only requirement is that the information should be fairly relative and will help the family in general.

You may also like to read: How to Motivate Family to Help Move Home. Keeping your family involved in the home moving preparations will help them adjust to all the changes that are happening. In this guide, we suggest ways to motivate your family and even share some games to make moving home fun for all the family.

Post Move Keep Your Eyes And Ears Open

As already mentioned above, every teenager tends to cope with change in their own way.

You may think that your child is ready to face the unknown settings but you won’t know for sure until after the relocation to the new city is complete.

Our moving a teenager to a new city checklist continues with practical tips on what you can do to ease the post-relocation transition for your teenager.

• After moving to a new city, it’s your top priority to find enough time for your youngster amidst your busy schedule. Your teenage son or daughter needs to know that you are there for them while the difficult acclimatisation period is at its peak. Have their trust, or regain it if the moving process somehow disrupted it, and hopefully, they will be willing to confide in you their fears, worries, and concerns.
  This way, you will be able to provide the support they so desperately need and seek through wise advice, timely guidance and skillfully concealed nudges in the right direction. Your ultimate goal? To restore their lost sense of security.
• If there have been any disputes or unresolved issues between you and your teenager, then you should take the unique chance that your house move has given you to improve your relationship with your teen son or daughter. On the other hand, if things with your teen child have been great, then the residential move can only strengthen that special parent-child connection between you.
• Keep your ears open, and more importantly – keep the communication channel with your teenager wide open, as far as it will go. Communicate with your grown-up child about anything, any issues that may be troubling them, and encourage them to share with you their joyous and sad moments, as well as their new city expectations.
• Open your eyes wide open and make a real effort to detect any troubling post-relocation signs that your teenager may exhibit. Being a caring parent, it shouldn’t be too hard for you to notice even slight deviations in your child’s behavioral patterns. It is of monumental importance that you respond quickly and adequately to such uncharacteristic conduct simply because one of the most effective ways to battle post-relocation depression (aka separation anxiety) is its early detection.
• That said, don’t rush to seek professional help for your teenager but provide more emotional support than ever before so that they get used to the unknown settings faster. Your ingenuity will be invaluable for their proper new city adaptation – use clever tricks to whet their hunger for new thrilling activities, curricular and extracurricular, like – sports, drama classes, music classes, new hobbies, etc., and to kindle or re-kindle their adventurous spirit. However, if your teenager continues to struggle weeks after the move, resort to finding qualified professional help.

You may also like to read: How to Avoid Culture Shock When Moving to a New Place. Even moving to the other side of the city can expose you to totally different experiences and environments. In this guide, we look at what is culture shock and how to avoid it so that you settle into your new area as quickly as possible.

3 Bonus Tips For Moving To Another City With A Teenager

When moving to another city with a teenager, be ready to be faced with some tough decisions. Unfortunately, some decisions will be even tougher than you might think.

• If you notice that your teen child misses their old friends dearly after moving to the new city, consider visiting your old place soon so that your teenager can reunite with their old pals, be it even for a few days.

If your teenage son or daughter is in their last year in high school, think about the possibility of leaving them with a trusted family until they graduate properly from their current school. This way, your teenager will be able to graduate with their good friends and rejoin you later. The painful late teen adaptation to an entirely different school in a brand new city may prove to be too detrimental for your child.

If your teenager is in a romantic relationship, proceed with extra caution as to not cause any real damage. Have a long and honest talk with your child in an attempt to figure out how serious that relationship is and what the best course of action is under these special circumstances.

You may also like to read: How to Move Out of a Home You Love. The home you are moving from is likely to be where your kids grew up and it is probably the only home they have ever known. It will be hard for all of you to say goodbye to your old family home but in this guide, we suggest ways to make parting with your old home easier.

Good luck with your home move and if you have any tips that other parents may find useful about moving home with teenagers please leave them in the comments below.