In the last year alone, how many times have you wished you were gifted with supernatural abilities?
More than 10 times? On more than 100 occasions? Every single day?
Admit it: even if you’re not a true superhero fan, the chances are that you’re not a stranger to the exhilarating thought of possessing superhuman abilities to make all aspects of your life a lot easier.
If you could somehow control at least a few of the superpowers below, then nothing would ever be a big problem for you. And I mean nothing! – not even a residential move with all the associated relocation stress, costs, complexity, unknowns, and risks.
And in case you are facing a house move anytime soon, then it won’t hurt to let your imagination run wild for just a little bit as part of the required mental preparation for your relocation challenge ahead.
Ready to take a closer look at the 10 superpowers that would make your move super easy? Here we go:
Superhuman strength
If you were blessed with the rare gift of superhuman strength, why would you want to waste it by pursuing foolish childhood dreams of becoming Mr. Olympia? Be a man of vision and become a piano mover instead!
Being a superman 24/7 isn’t all sunshine and rainbows.
For example, you can’t take a peaceful walk in the park without having desperate people running to you and asking you to do all sorts of crazy tasks for them (No, even Superman himself can’t transform your old rust bucket into a brand new Porsche), or even worse – wasting your time with unworthy quests (Superman is officially done with taking scared cats off tall trees).
However, if you had a much higher level of strength than normally possible when getting ready to move house, then:
you’d have absolutely no problems lifting and carrying even the heaviest items found in your home (kitchen appliances, bulky furniture pieces, a piano) without having to ask friends for help, or hire professional movers. Which, of course, would help you save enough money to get yourself a brand new cape.
you’d never have to worry about possible costly property damage or painful personal injuries of any sort due to improper lifting techniques, insufficient number of helping hands or the major culprit of most moving day accidents – the lack of much needed moving experience and relocation know-how.
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With so many identical copies of yourself under one roof, be smart enough to tattoo a special ID label behind your left ear in order to identify your initial true self after the move and to avoid dangerous situations of mistaken identity.
The ability to create physical duplicates of yourself might seem frightening for the majority of ordinary people but you know what they say – desperate times call for desperate measures. And, believe it or not, most episodes of moving house can easily be classified as desperate times.
Of course, the main downside of having clones of yourself in your own home is that duplicates are notorious for being voraciously hungry and extremely thirsty after a scheduled copy-paste procedure, and will first concentrate on finding and destroying your stash of food and drinks before they agree to help you out.
Yet, timely help when moving house is something truly valuable (yes, more valuable even than 31 tuna sandwiches and 17 empty bottles of Coca Cola), so if you had the superhuman ability to duplicate yourself, then
you wouldn’t have to worry about falling behind schedule with your cloned helpers completing one moving task after another, and you – enjoying a good book in your favourite sofa (sorry, no snacks or drinks left!).
you’d be able to send one identical copy of yourself to your new home to make sure things are doing fine there.
and fortunately, you wouldn’t need to bother your real-life non-cloned friends to help you out with the moving preparations simply because you would have as many helping hands as you need in any given moment. Handy, right?
X-ray vision
If you enjoy solving tough puzzles, here’s a challenging one for you: would seeing the inner beauty of people through fool-proof X-ray vision be a blessing or a curse?
Possessing the ability to see through solid matter is probably not the most fun paranormal activity you could ever be gifted with, but the unique superpower would certainly prove to be practical and useful in many a real life situation.
It goes without saying that the main drawback of having X-ray vision is that all you’d ever be looking at will be walking skeletons in the streets, while your close friends would be nothing but friendly looking bones and smiling teeth.
Unless, that is, you have a hidden turn-on/turn-off switch for that unusual supernatural ability of yours.
If you were equipped with a penetrating X-ray vision, you’d be at least one step ahead in your busy moving preparations, for
while looking for a new home to rent or purchase, you’d be able to see the inside of the residence straight from the street and register any existing bonuses or issues that would help you make a better decision.
you wouldn’t have to waste any precious time labelling your packed boxes as you could clearly see their contents with a single glance.
Telepathy
If you really think about it, reading people’s minds is not that hard after all. What, you don’t believe it? Ok, here’s the proof – right now you can’t wait to finish reading this great piece of content so that you can share it with your friends. Bingo! Right?
If you think that the ability to read the thoughts of other people is probably the ultimate superpower that one can have in life, then you’re surely headed to a dead-end street called DISAPPOINTMENT.
While such a superhuman gift would certainly remove much of the exhausting guesswork you get to deal with on a daily basis, the bitter truth is that knowing exactly what the people around you think would probably leave you with no real friends at all.
Unless you want to stick around your despicable colleague Mike who always says what he thinks, and who, ironically, is despised by everyone for that very reason.
However, in a house moving environment, reading people’s minds would be priceless no matter how you look at it. If you had that gift while moving to a new city, then
you’d know immediately if the friends you had asked for help were doing it as a genuine gesture of friendship or as a secret motive to have you in their debt. Always good to know!
you’d be instantly aware if your hired professional helpers had any dishonest thoughts or ulterior motives intended to mistreat you in any way, and if that were the case, you should then find yourself a more open-minded moving company to work with.
Mass manipulation
If you possessed the ability of mass manipulation while moving house, then the transportation even of an elephant pet would cause as many problematic complications as taking a hummingbird out for a walk.
The ability to increase or decrease the mass of an object could be highly practical and extremely fun superpower to have, don’t you think?
Besides bragging to your pals about the jaw-dropping weight you can lift at the local gym, you would never have any problems at airport checkpoints even if you wished to take your favourite set of bowling balls with you.
The “real” problems with your fantastic ability to manipulate the mass of various things would come only if you started toying carelessly with the strict laws of physics. Then the heavy arm of Mother Nature could quickly punish you for your reckless behaviour.
However, even the Great Mother would turn a blind eye if she saw you using your superpower during a house move. In which case,
you’d be able to lift, carry, load and unload the super heavy objects in your home without even breaking a sweat, and more importantly – without sustaining personal injuries or inflicting property damage whatsoever.
you’d be able to save a fortune with a single mass reduction ray as the final relocation price depends heavily on the total weight of your shipment. Hey, superpowers can be really good for your personal moving budget, don’t you agree?
Superhuman speed
“Wait! Did I lock the back door of the old house? I’ll be right back!”
Would anyone dare call you a slowpoke if you had been gifted with superhuman speed? Probably not.
The ability to move, react and even think faster than a human being ever could is not something to easily pass up. Ever.
As one of the few supernatural abilities without any major disadvantages, one possible side effect of speeding up into the bright future is that you might pile up a considerable pile of speeding tickets along the way. If you ever get caught, that is!
And thanks to your inhumanly fast speed, it would seem like everything around you were moving in slow motion while you yourself were doing things at normal speed. And that alone is something you could really take advantage of during your moving preparations.
In fact, this supernatural acceleration could be easily used as an effective tool to control the time that is tick-tocking mercilessly towards moving day. By being faster than fast,
you’d always have more than enough time to complete all the tasks in your personalized moving calendar, essential or non-essential alike.
your superhuman speed would let you control the flow of time to respond to your specific needs. Need a 5-day break from the laborious process of packing? Sssssssssssssssure!
Weather manipulation
No need of umbrellas on Moving day? This has to be seen to be believed.
Sick and tired of having to be the one to conform to the capricious climatic conditions? Wouldn’t it be so much nicer if the weather itself could show some overdue consideration for your own wishes and preferences?
As insanely practical as it seems, the ability to control or mentally affect the weather could hide a few risks if you chose to abuse it. For instance, if you banished the snowy coldness of the winter season, wouldn’t you just taste the collective fury of all the children who wouldn’t be able to sledge down the slopes or make funny snowmen with their parents?
In all honesty, at first you may not think that weather manipulation is a supernatural ability worth having when moving to a new house. However, you’re sure to change your mind the moment a summer storm, a torrential downpour, or even an icy blizzard is preparing to hit the morning of your moving day with the malicious intention to stop you in your tracks, and practically kill the gained relocation momentum.
By controlling what cannot be controlled,
you wouldn’t need to worry about rain, wind, snow, ice, hail, or thunderstorms on your moving day. No hardwood floors or carpets ruined by feet-introduced water, mud or sleet either!
you’d have perfect weather conditions from start to finish with spring birds chirping away their beautiful songs and gentle sun rays caressing the wheels of the moving van.
Teleportation
Remember that the teleportation ability is not a toy. According to a newly published study, each teleportation session would cost you a single hair off the hair on your head. You do the math.
The process of moving house is all about making it safely, together with your belongings, from Point A to Point B.
But what if you could actually skip all the transportation hassle and move from your old place to your new residence with a single ZAP? Wouldn’t that be just AWESOME?
Yes, it would, for teleportation is a super neat superpower to have in life because it would let you reach your desired destinations without having to occupy the space in between.
The bad news is that even with something as extraordinary as teleportation in your secret arsenal of superhuman abilities, somebody by your side would unmistakably be heard to mumble boring clichés infused with the wisdom of the ages, such as
Life is not about the destination, it’s about the journey.
or
Sometimes it’s not where you go, it’s who you travel with.
Listen, your moving day is approaching fast and you welcome any help you can get. If you had the supernatural ability to move from one place to another in seconds, then
you’d save a crazy amount of time and transportation costs, just like you will from checking out these great moving tips.
you surely wouldn’t need to bother about something bad happening on the road to your new home, including road rage.
you’d be able to keep a constant eye on your new home as travelling between your two residences would take only 3.14 seconds.
Innate capability
The gift of super intelligence would enable you to calculate exactly what the final relocation price would be, unforeseen expenses and extra charges included and all. But until you could unlock the full potential of your brain, requesting a moving costs estimate is still the best way to do it.
To be super smart is something all of us desire on a daily basis, as the added intelligence would give us an astonishing advantage and make our lives at least 5 times easier.
If you were born with the ability to know or understand something without the need of previous experience and without having to study it, then you’d need to be a bit careful how you use that power.
If you got too proud of it, you could easily alienate most of your friends because nobody enjoys being told that they are not smart enough (aka stupid) – just watch Forest Gump and you will understand.
Additionally, reckless demonstration of your mental superiority could get you into a high-tech underground lab-like facility in an unknown location with tubes, sensors and probes all over and inside your own brain.
According to the relocation theory of relativity, moving house is relatively hard, but hardly relative. In other words, use time travel only for correcting major move related mistakes. Deal?
Surprise! Time travel is yet to be invented, or at least that’s what we’re being told anyway.
In any case, if you had the amazing and phenomenal ability to travel back and forth through time, then it’s fair to warn you that you shouldn’t expect it all to be simply a walk in the park.
Having watched so many films about the idea of time travel, you’d surely be scared as hell to become a victim of the evil ripples of time. You wouldn’t even dare misplace something as insignificant as a pen from your own desk!
But when it comes to the issue of moving to another home, you’d definitely find time travelling more than useful, for
the fear of committing costly moving mistakes would not be a stress-building factor anymore. Luckily, any serious relocation error would be fairly easy to fix by revisiting the exact date and time it were made.
you’d be able to see whether the decision to move had been the right one in the first place. How? Simply go a few years into your own future and see with your own two eyes how happy (hopefully!) or miserable you are.
Statler: Do you think this post about relocation superpowers would become a hit? Waldorf: Sure! If the author had the superpower to control his readers’ minds.
Without a shadow of a doubt, even a single one of the 10 super cool superpowers above would make your house move so much easier, and you wouldn’t have to worry about none of the usual move related conundrums either.
But until such a day comes, your best option for a smooth and problem-free relocation is still to hire a really good moving company with years of experience and impeccable reputation.
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What other superpowers do you think would be super useful when moving house?
Which superhuman ability would you choose for yourself?
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