When, Why, and How to Declutter Your Elderly Parents’ Home

In this week’s home moving blog, we will look at various life events that will result in the decluttering of the family home and how to deal with each of those situations, how to deal with the emotions involved, and how to plan to declutter to make it as easy and painless as possible for all involved.

• When To Start Decluttering An Elderly Parents Home
• How to Convince Your Parents to Declutter Their Home
• How to Help Your Parents Cope With Decluttering
• How to Declutter Your Parents’ Home
• How to Clear Your Parents’ Home After Moving Into Care

Traditionally, people would move home only a couple of times during their lifetime, and often, older generations will have been in the same home all their lives.

During that lifetime of having a family and creating a family home, they will have accumulated a vast array of possessions.

But there will come a time, usually because they are downsizing their home, going into care, or have passed away when all of those possessions will need to be sorted through.

Sorting through a lifetime’s possessions, which often hold great sentimental value, can be extremely draining, both physically and mentally for all involved.

There is no easy way to prepare emotionally for the task of clearing out a loved one’s home, it will affect everybody differently, but there are strategies you can adopt to make it easier.

And when it comes to the logistics of moving out furniture or clearing what is left in the home, there are companies who can help.

When to Start Decluttering an Elderly Parents Home

Although it can be difficult, it is best to start the process of decluttering now, whilst your parents are in good health, physically and mentally.

As we all know, you can accumulate a large amount of stuff over a short period of time so if they have been in the home for 30-odd years then the task is likely to be huge.

There are some very good reasons for starting to declutter the family home now:

#1 For Your Parents’ Safety

As your parents age, they may become less steady on their feet making it difficult to make their way around cluttered furniture or items stacked on the floor.

It is not uncommon for elderly people to hoard magazines and newspapers, often kept in piles around the home. This often causes a fire hazard.

Even just decluttering a few items of furniture may allow the heating to circulate better and faster so making the home warmer and safer for them.

#2 To Uncover Maintenance Issues

It could be that piles of things are covering some maintenance issues that need urgent attention. That could be things like rising dampness or mold that will affect the health of your parents and also damage the property.

#3 To Share The Joy of Handing Things Down

Usually, parents will hand down certain items from their home to the family. If they can let go now then they will see the joy that those things bring to other members of the family and they will know that the items are being cherished just as much as they cherished them.

#4 Decluttering Will Make Cleaning Easier

Fewer items cluttering the home will make cleaning and the daily upkeep of the home so much easier for your parents.

#5 The Home Will Be Healthier

Because there will be fewer things collecting dust in the home, the air will be healthier for your parents.

#6 To Get Affairs in Order

One of the most important things to be gained from decluttering now is that you can get your parents’ affairs in order.

It is easier to get all the important paperwork separated from the things that do not need to be kept. Things like bank details, savings books, premium bonds, life insurance, or pensions, they can tell you what is important or if old bank accounts have been closed for example.

#7 To Help Grandchildren in Their First Home

It may be that their grandchildren are setting up their first home and some of the things that your parents no longer use or need will be useful to them.

#8 For Peace of Mind

With decluttering will come the peace of mind that all their affairs are in order, that the things they wanted to go to other people will have been given to and appreciated by that person, and that they are not leaving a huge mess for you to sort out in the future.

You may also like to read: The Ultimate Guide to Decluttering: You will find many useful suggestions on how to declutter the whole house, room by room, in this essential guide.

How to Convince Your Parents to Declutter Their Home

Tact and time are going to be needed when it comes to broaching the subject of decluttering with your parents.

You will have to sell them the benefits of decluttering and why it is such a good idea. However, you cannot impose your will upon them, how they choose to live is their choice, as are your lifestyle choices.

So you may need to sow the seed into their mind about decluttering, then revisit the subject over a few weeks before the penny drops.

Pointing out just how much stuff they have, and how it will improve their life to declutter though may make it easier for them to accept the idea and start the process.

And nobody likes to be reminded how they are getting older, reaching the twilight of their years, so the benefits have to be ones that they can enjoy now, that will improve their life and living conditions now.

Some of the benefits that you use in your discussions with them may include:

#1 For their own Safety

There will be fewer tripping hazards or a reduced fire risk if they hoard magazines and papers.

#2 For Health Benefits

Fewer possessions equal less dust equals cleaner air in the home.

#3 For Financial Benefits

They may be able to afford a short break or a special treat from the proceeds of selling the things they no longer want or need.

#4 The Home Will Be Easier to Look After

There will be less cleaning and everything will be more accessible.

#5 To Help Others

By handing down household items to young families or to charity shops they will be helping others.

#6 Safer for the Grandchildren

A less cluttered house is going to be safer for the grandkids when they visit and could even free up space for them to sleep over.

You may like to read: 10 Best Housing Options for Older Adults: One reason you may be helping your parents declutter is that the home is just too big for them to manage and they are thinking of downsizing or moving to a more suitable property. This guide offers 10 great suggestions for housing that they may consider.

How to Help Your Parents Cope With Decluttering

Now that your parents understand and accept the benefits of decluttering it is time to get to work.

This is likely to be a long, emotional process, but also one that you can use as a bonding exercise, a time when you discover and rediscover things about your parents’ lives and even your family history.

To help your parents cope with what can be an extremely daunting task, start off with easy, unsentimental things.

That could be old magazines or books which you could donate to the local library or doctor’s surgery. If your parents see quick wins, and the benefit to both them and others, they will more readily accept that their house needs decluttering.

Parents are notorious for hoarding things like blankets and linen so gather all those together and see what can realistically be pared down.

Ask them if they would like to gift anything to any members of the family or friends. The item does not have to be gifted now, but at least in the future, you know exactly to whom it goes.

Whilst going through things take your time to listen to the stories that your parents have about those items, this may be one of the few remaining opportunities you have to hear those tales.

Don’t assume that because something has no monetary value that it is not special to your parents. So let them make the decisions as to what goes or stays.

It may help to go through all the kitchen drawers for example and group together all the like-for-like items, often you will find numerous duplicates of corkscrews or kitchen utensils. By gathering them all in one place your parents will realise they don’t need 7 whisks and 5 tea strainers.

Your parents may be reluctant to get rid of anything, so use the opportunity to at least get the home organised with like-for-like things in one place and preferably boxed or put away in a cupboard.

They may have collections of pottery or crockery that they have collected over many years. If they are willing to part with it then think about selling the collection to another enthusiast. Your parents will know that the collection will be well looked after and will go to a good home, so making it easier to part with it.

Decluttering their lives is going to be extremely emotional so don’t rush, let them lead and make the decisions or they may well resent you and the whole process, especially if you got rid of a seemingly insignificant item that held great sentimental value to them.

You may like to read: How to Declutter Your Loft: The loft is often one of the worst places to declutter in any home. Here we offer some suggestions to make the whole process easier and safer.

How to Declutter Your Parents’ Home

There are various ways to declutter your parents’ home but you will find out what works best in your circumstances as you start the process.

It may be that you will need to declutter in waves, revisiting the project several times so that it is not too overwhelming for your parents. It may also be that as they see and experience the benefits of decluttering they may be only too happy to take it to the next level.

Others may find that a get-it-over-and-done-with approach works better.

Whichever approach you find that works for you, there are some steps to decluttering that you may find useful.

#1 Create a Decluttering Plan

Create a realistic plan of when you will have the available time to help your parents declutter their home. Depending upon how much stuff there is to clear out, plan on the whole process taking several weekends.

It is often best to break the task up into small, manageable chunks of a couple of hours of sorting at a time.

#2 Divide and Conquer

If you have a partner or another family member to help you, one could work alongside the mother whilst another along with the father who works on say the garage or shed.

#3 Organise the Paperwork First

An easy project, to begin with, is to sort through all the paperwork that is in drawers, cupboards, and more than likely in boxes under the bed.

Gather all the paperwork like guarantees, receipts, bank books, utility bills, insurance certificates, pension details, house deeds, lease contracts, wills, licences, and car paperwork into one place.

All the old paperwork that is no longer needed can be shredded and thrown out.

If you come across any sentimental letters or photographs set them aside, it is too early in the clearing process to be dealing with things that have an emotional attachment.

#4 Create a Paperwork Binder

Once you have separated out all the relevant paperwork create a file or binder to keep all the important documents in. Then make sure that the file is kept somewhere safe.

#5 Sort Non-Emotional Items

Only sort through things at first that will have no emotional attachment to your parents.

You will need just two boxes for this process, one for items to be thrown away and another for things that can be donated to family or charity.

Parents often hoard decades worth of old bed linen, towels, and blankets. These are a quick win to sort through and can create a lot of space once pared down.

The bathroom is another easy and quick win. Out-of-date medicines should be disposed of at the local pharmacy as they could be harmful to children and animals if just thrown in the bin. Old unused and unwanted toiletries can be donated or if partly used thrown away.

Take the things that are being donated to charity shops straight away so that the boxes are gone and out of the way.

#6 Check the Pockets

When it comes to decluttering their wardrobes be sure to check the pockets of anything that you are clearing out, older people are notorious for not trusting banks and often squirrel away money in their pockets and then forget about it.

Bear in mind that vintage clothes and shoes can fetch good money on the second-hand market.

#7 Bequests

As you are sorting through things, your parents may request that various items are left for certain people. If they do not want to bequest those items now, then make a list of exactly what the item is and to whom it should go. Keep that list in the important paperwork file.

#8 Furniture

If your parents are having mobility problems around the home it may make sense to have less furniture causing obstructions. Your parents may want to pass some furniture on to friends or family or donate to a worthy cause, or even have things put into storage until such a time that a member of the family needs them.

#9 Sentimental Items

The last things that you will want to declutter are sentimental items, especially if they would hold no special feelings for the rest of the family. Rather than causing hurt and upset because nobody else wants to take possession or keep them, you may want to put off sorting these items whilst your parents are still here.

That may mean putting the items into storage or boxing them up to go into the loft for dealing with later.

However, the joy of decluttering sentimental items is that you and your parents get to share memories associated with those items, you get to share their stories and experiences and help them re-live long-lost memories.

Obviously, it will be emotionally hard on your parents going through all their sentimental items, so take your time, you may need to take a break and come back to do this part of the decluttering another day.

However, the best way to honour sentimental items is to actually use them or be able to view them easily. That may mean getting rid of the Argos vase in the hall and replacing it with the vase that was your great-great-great-grandmothers.

Or actually using the cutlery that was your great-grandparents. Get rid of the stainless steel and actually use that beautiful silverware.

Don’t save the best for special occasions, every day is a special occasion when it is filled with beautiful things that bring you joy. Get rid of those cheap glasses and use the crystal every day, your wine will taste better for it.

Particularly special photos could be framed and the mass-produced art on their walls taken down and donated.

Photos could be scanned and put onto digital photo frames.

If you can find ways to make use of their sentimental items, to have them on display, then swap out a non-sentimental item that it replaces. That way you are not cluttering up the house more, you are thinning out the everyday, mundane items and ensuring your parents only have things in their home that they really care about, that give them joy, and stimulate happy memories.

You may like to read: How to Choose a Storage Unit: Many people find it too hard to part with all their possessions when decluttering so many choose to hire a storage unit until they are able to face sorting through all the things. Here we look at how storage units differ, what they cost, and which ones are best for certain things.

How to Clear Your Parents’ Home After Moving Into Care

If your parents have to leave their home to go into care it can be one of the trickiest scenarios in which you need to declutter their home, especially if there is a chance that they may return to the family home in the future.

It may be that you have to declutter their home for their own safety upon their return, or that they need to be able to move freely around the home in a wheelchair for example.

They may even request certain things to be brought to them that not only will help declutter their family home, but you can be sure that those items really matter to them.

Whilst they are in care take the opportunity to get all of their important documents in order.

Sort out areas of the home that they rarely use, like the loft, garage, or shed.

You could dispose of out-of-date food and medicines, things that will absolutely have zero sentimental value.

You may feel it is insensitive to start decluttering now so take the opportunity to organise and tidy the house which will also give you the opportunity to give the home a good clean.

If the time comes when it is obvious they will not be returning to the family home then you can declutter and clear it out then.

You may choose to get a house clearance company or a charity organisation to clear everything out.

Putting all their possessions into storage until you are ready emotionally to deal with those items is another option.

Yet another option is to pass on items that your parents wanted to bequeath, then sell the remaining items and donate that money to their favourite charity.

It is extremely tiring mentally and physically to clear many decades of accumulated possessions, especially when those items belonged to your parents.

It is very easy to get to the stage where you do not want to get rid of anything.

But you don’t need your parents’ possessions to remember them. Memories are held within us, not within a material possession.

That is not to say that you should not keep some of your parents’ things if you want to. If they are useful or bring you joy then great, but there should be no pressure, no guilt on your part that you must keep something just because it was theirs.

There is no one size fits all way of decluttering your parents’ home, people accept change and getting older in different ways. So just take your time, approach the task in bite-sized chunks, and determine what the best way forward is for your parents.

Please share in the comments below ways that you found to declutter your parents’ home that others in the same position may find useful.

Finally, many removal companies offer house clearance, furniture removal, and storage. They could help make the process of clearing your parents’ home easier physically at least.

You can get a free, no-obligation quote from a local removal firm easily by filling out this form.