Why You Should Never Ask Friends to Help you Move Home

Last weekend a friend had to move out of their rented flat after the landlord gave them a month’s notice.

Being a single parent with two kids and a full-time job gives you little spare time to organise a home move. So, being a good friend and having moved frequently, I offered to help prepare and pack them in the 4 weeks that they had before moving day.

No need they say, don’t worry, it will be fine.

Famous last words which you just know are going to end in chaos. And, of course, a moving day nightmare is exactly what the move ended up being.

So here is a cautionary tale, both for people moving home with the help of friends and for those considering helping their friends on moving day.

You may also like to read: Small Home Moves: Moving with No Furniture. Discover lots of useful tips for moving home with no furniture, from packing to the various ways you can ship your boxes, this guide has lots of useful information.

Why You Should Never Help a Friend on Moving Day

Can I get you boxes? Can I help you pack? Is there anything I can do to help?

All offers of help were declined, it was all under control they say.

As it happened I already had plans for their move date so helping before or after the actual move seemed like the most useful offer to make.

Just to put in context how easy you would assume this home move to be it was a 1 bed flat with no furniture or appliances to move, and they were only moving 500 metres down the road. And there is a large lift with easy parking right outside the foyer of the block they were moving from.

They had arranged for other friends to help on moving day, one of which had a van, so in theory, it should be a straightforward and quick home move.

But that’s the thing with moving home by yourself, nothing is ever straightforward, especially if you are relying on friends to help you.

In the week preceding moving day, my friends’ company car had to be taken off the road because it had exceeded the year’s mileage allowance and it was only a week or so till the New Year and a new car. So now they were a vehicle down on moving day.

Do you want me to change plans and help on moving day I reluctantly offer.

No need, I have more than enough people and a couple of vehicles so it will be no problem, they say.

8 am on moving day I get a phone call. Only one friend is available to help now and they can’t make it until this afternoon, please can you come help?

I hastily rearrange my day assuming that everything is ready to move, so it should take a couple of hours maximum.

But as we all know, to assume makes an ass of you and me.

I get to their flat at about 10 am and walk into the hallway where there is not a packed box in sight, in fact, pictures are still on the walls, coats and shoes are on the rack, and there is no evidence that it is moving day at all.

Walk into the living room, the TV is on, ornaments are still on display, and the kids are eating breakfast at the table.

Alarms bells are ringing in my head. Is nothing packed?

As it turned out they had started packing. There were 6 large bin liners of clothes ready to go. That was it. Not a single other thing was packed let alone prepared to be moved.

And there was not one solitary packing box in the flat. Not one.

So whilst they carried on packing what they could into bin liners I drove off to the local supermarket to get as many boxes as I could.

An hour or so later I had enough good strong boxes and some packing tape, but nowhere could I get bubble wrap. Not the end of the world but it would have made life easier.

Back at the flat I made up the boxes, lined them with towels and clothing, and packed all their fragile items, wrapping each item in clothing for protection.

Even though this was essentially a last-minute move I still ensured that all the boxes were clearly marked using this simple box labeling system. It would make the unpacking so much easier.

We also ensured that the essentials they needed for that night were boxed separately just in case they did not feel like unpacking when they got to their new place. And this was obviously going to be a long and exhausting day.

Using bin liners to move the majority of things made loading the car so much easier as you can squash them into every corner of the car. Small boxes were used for only the breakables.

You may also like to read: How to Pack a Car for Moving Home in which you will find lots of useful tips for moving home using only your car.

Long story short, the packing was done in about 4 hours.

Then of course the other helper dropped out. The one with the van. The only other helper.

So now there were 2 of us and 1 vehicle to move everything. It was rapidly turning into a moving nightmare, but nothing we could not handle.

Stay positive, and focus, and all will be well. These things happen when you are moving home yourself and relying on friends. We will get this done no matter what.

It should take about 6 or 7 trips in the car but the distance was short so no big deal.

But little did I know what was in store at the new flat.

We arrive at the new flat with the first carload just as it starts to rain. Heavily. Deep joy.

Being a weekend, and with it raining, most people are at home, and the car park is full. There is literally no way to get closer than about 75 metres from the entrance to the flat.

So we grab a few bags each and trudge in the pouring rain to the apartment block. Did I mention the new flat is on the 6^th floor? And that there is no lift she says!!!!

You may also like to read: How to Move Out of a Flat with No Lift in which we offer some invaluable packing and moving tips to ensure a safer and easier home move.

This just gets better and better. Oh well, no need to go to the gym next week, this is going to be a week’s worth of workouts at least.

Although I made sure not to pack the boxes too heavy, 6 hours of carrying things up 12 flights of stairs was no fun and every muscle in my body was screaming by the end of the day.

We eventually get everything into the new flat at 11.30 that night.

The mission was completed, and I headed home for a hot shower, a glass of wine, and lots of sleep.

You may also like to read: How to get Friends to Help You Move. From ways to ask your friends for help, how to make the best use of their skills, to how to thank your friends after the move, if you are planning to ask for help moving home this guide is invaluable.

Why You Should Never Ask Friends for Help on Moving Day

It is easy to say yes. But the reality of what they have let themselves in for often means that your friends’ well-intentioned offer of help on moving day fails to materialise.

There are so many reasons why moving day is not the time to be getting help from your friends, at least not with the lifting and carrying or relying on their transport.

• Friends will find excuses not to turn up on moving day
• They will turn up late
• They will not be motivated to get the job done
• They are not professional movers, they will get tired
• They will sneak off before you have finished
• They will gouge walls and furniture
• They may load the van so that it is unstable when driven
• They may not have the skills to load the van so that the items do not shift around in the back
• Tempers will fray
• Your relationship will be strained to breaking point
• They may resent you giving them instructions or ordering them about
• It will take far longer to move as they do not have the skills to move heavy and large furniture through awkward spaces
• They may get injured

If you value your friendships then asking for help on moving day is not the way to keep your friendship intact.

It actually makes far more sense to take up offers of help during the preparation for your move and even after moving day as you unpack and set up your new home.

Accept offers of help from friends and family in ways that make the best use of their time and skills.

A few hours to help you clean the home or tidy up the garden, running some errands, or helping you pack moving boxes is far more useful than having somebody who wants to help but cannot physically move things. So make use of the skills or abilities they do have, make the times they help fun and relaxed, and leave the work on moving day to a professional removal company.

Must read: 22 Really Useful Ways to Help a Friend Move Home. In this post, we look at all the ways a friend can help you move home without having to do any of the physical moving on moving day. A really useful guide that may just save your friendships.

Moving Home is never cheap and moving with the help of family and friends would seem a logical way to help keep costs down.

But this is often a false economy.

Hire vans can get damaged, furniture broken, property gouged and scratched, and fragile items smashed.

In most cases, your own insurance will not cover the replacement costs if you have packed the items yourself.

Just a smashed TV could wipe out any savings you made by not hiring a good removal company to help you move.

If you hire a professional removal team then they should have home moving insurance to cover these eventualities.

There is also the emotional cost to take into consideration.

In the example I shared earlier many people would have been stressed or angered by the situation they found themselves in and it would be easy to understand why the friendship could be irreparably damaged.

As it turns out I am very laid back and have moved home enough times to not get phased by a few setbacks on moving day, despite how totally frustrating and exhausting the day was.

Whether my friend will be so forgiving being let down by her other friends is another matter.

A couple of days after she moved in she rang to say that she absolutely hated the new place, the area, and the neighbours, and was seriously looking for a new place to move into as soon as possible.

Friend or no friend, I may just change my phone number and maybe even book a long long vacation, far far away for the foreseeable future…….but of course, I will leave her the number for a reliable removal company.