Moving in With a Friend: How to Live With Friends and Remain BFF

Leaving home for the first time, moving out of university halls, or feeling lonely in your retirement may make you consider that moving in with a friend would be a great idea.

What could be better? You know your friend so well, you have a fun time together, you get on great, you will save money living together, and so moving in together seems like a no-brainer. But will life living with your friends be as wonderful as you imagine it to be?

In this week’s home moving blog we will help you decide whether it is better to live with friends or strangers, the questions you need to ask, the things you need to consider before moving in together, and whether living with your friend will be the best thing ever or the quickest way to ruin a friendship.

Things to Consider Before Moving in With a Friend

Living with someone is a whole different ball game than spending a few quality or fun hours a week with them.

You may have been friends for years and been through happy and sad times, grown and matured together, but living under the same roof you will discover things about each other that maybe you wished you hadn’t.

Equally, your friendship may get even better and you will bond like never before.

However, finding the right person to live with is often harder than finding the right home to share.

Successful co-habiting does not just happen, you need to set boundaries, have rules, and work out a way of living that suits you both.

Clear communication is key to a harmonious home and knowing who does what, when, and how the mundane everyday tasks of running a home are to be split will save your sanity and especially your friendship. So here is a list of questions to ask before moving in with friends:

• Paying Bills: How will you spilt the utility bills, council tax, the costs of groceries, cleaning products and sundry items?
• Bank Accounts: How will you pay the bills? By direct debit? Out of whose account or a household account?
• Meals: Will you have separate food cupboards or shared meals?
• Shopping: Will you do the grocery shop together or online, and how will you split the grocery bill?
• Cleaning: Work out a cleaning rota deciding who does which communal area on which day
• Visitors: Set rules about having other friends and family to stay over
• Quiet times: Agree quiet times, especially if one or the other is a late riser or works shifts
• Bathrooms: You will also need to agree a bathroom routine especially if you both need to get ready for work at the same time
• Alone time: Discuss how much time you will spend together, it is great to do things together but having some alone time is also important
• Inventory: Go through an inventory of what household items you both own and who will bring what into the new home. This will also identify items that you need to purchase.
• What is off-limits? Set clear rules about what is off limits to your friends, will you share clothes, can they use your Ipad or games console?
• Conflict resolution: No matter how well you think you know each other, living together may highlight some quirks that the other person is uncomfortable with. Discuss how you will resolve any potential issues before they become friendship wreckers.

Pros and Cons of Moving In With Friends

One thing is for sure when moving in with your best friend, things will change. Your bond may grow even stronger or you may find that those quirky behaviours drive you insane when you live with them 24/7.

There are plenty of good reasons to move in with a friend rather than a stranger but as with most things in life, if there is an upside there is a downside.

So what are the advantages and disadvantages of living with a friend?

You are friends because you enjoy each other’s company and have fun, you have shared interests and each of you benefits from being in the others company in some way.

So spending even more time together, sharing every aspect of your life seems that a great idea, right?

The Advantages of Living with Friends

There are certainly benefits when choosing to live with a friend rather than someone that you don’t know or trust.

• Familiarity: You already know your friend so have a good idea about their good and bad personality traits.
• Understanding: Your best friend knows you well, so will understand when you are moody or quiet.
• Openness: You can have discussions with your friends that you would not have with family or with a stranger.
• Sharing: You will likely have common interests like a TV show which you can binge watch together.
• Trust: A friend is less likely to steal from you or try to rip you off over bills or rent.
• Fun: Living with friends can make even mundane chores like grocery shopping fun.
• Safety: Straightaway you will comfortable and safe having a friend you can rely on at home

The Disadvantages of Living with Friends

Just because you are great friends does not mean that you will be great housemates. Does living with friends ruin friendships? Not always, it can make the friendship stronger and you could have great fun living together, but it pays to be aware of the disadvantages of moving in with your friends too.

Here are some of the potential reasons not to live with your best friends.

• Your friends may be more inclined to take liberties, like not doing their chores or missing bill payments
• It may be more awkward to have uncomfortable conversations with your friend when something annoys you
• You may automatically think that living with your friends will be great and fail to take notice of those red flags that would make you steer clear of a house mate who was a stranger
• Spending too much time with your friends may ruin the friendship and may hinder you making new friends
• It will be more difficult to have alone time especially if your friend has boundary issues

Is It a Bad Idea to Move In With Friends?

So having weighed up all the pros and cons, do the benefits of moving in with your best friend outweigh the disadvantages? Is moving in with your friends a good idea?

If planned properly, if you are open and honest with each other, give yourselves some space every now and then, have some laughs along the way, and be the friend to them that you want them to be to you, then moving in with your friends can be a great experience.

The downside of course is that if you get it wrong you could end up losing your friend.

Think long and hard before taking the plunge because only you can decide if living together is worth that risk.

Living With Friends in Old Age

When people talk about moving in with friends, we tend to think of younger people who maybe are leaving the family home for the first time, or are going to college or university, but many people are choosing to live with friends in later life too.

Not only does living with friends mentally stimulate you but it has financial benefits too with shared living costs being the most obvious.

There is also the possibility that friends downsizing their homes and living together would have the financial security to go places and do things that they never dreamt possible, or to be able to live in an area that they thought out of their budget.

You may like to read: How to Downsize Your Home in which we look at all the pros and cons of downsizing your home and give you some practical tips on how to move to a smaller home.

As people are living longer and health care continually improves the aging population is growing. And there is growing evidence to suggest that being around friends enhances health and well-being and as we get older we tend to choose friends who bring special qualities into our life.

There is an interesting study at www.thecut.com by William J Chopik, a psychologist at Michigan State University who has looked into the subject of how friends affect your wellbeing.

Families are more mobile these days with many families split up all over the world, and whilst multigenerational living is seeing a revival in many countries, another housing option is co-housing.

Back in the sixties co-housing was popular in the Nordic countries and has gained popularity around the world in the last few decades.

Co-housing is when a group of similarly aged people live independently but share communal spaces with others.

Often co-housing will offer residents shared communal areas such as spaces for social activities, gardens, laundry, and dining facilities.

You can learn more about how co-housing works in the UK and find a group near you at www.cohousing.org.uk

In the UK there is also the Homeshare UK initiative which brings people who have spare rooms in their home together with older people who will lend a hand around the home in exchange for affordable accommodation.

The scheme runs throughout the UK and ROI.

You can find out more about the Homeshare UK initiative at:

• www.homeshareuk.org
• Email: contact@homeshareuk.org
• Telephone: 0151 227 3499

You may also like to read Moving Into a Multigenerational Home in which we look at every aspect of multi-generations living together, the pros and cons, and the practical considerations of such a move.

You may also like to know:

One of the advantages of living with friends is the shared costs of running a home and many people ask about how it will affect universal credit when moving in with friends or does council tax change when someone moves in?

www.citizensadvice.org.uk has comprehensive guidance on how moving in with friends can affect benefits and universal credit.

If you are moving into a friend’s home you will need to notify your local council as this may affect any reductions that they receive for single occupancy.

However, if they do not receive any discounts from the local council, and you are not the person responsible for paying council tax then you do not need to notify them.

To be on the safe side it is best to check with your local council. You can find your local councils’ contact details at www.gov.uk    

Tips for Moving In with Friends

Having made the decision to move in with your friends and you have had the discussion about finances and house rules, now it’s time to actually find a place to live, and work out the details of the move.

It will help to have a ‘moving in with friends’ checklist’ so that the move into your new home will be as easy as possible.

#1 Create a wish list of the ideal place to live taking into account affordability, location, parking, if pets are allowed, the number of bedrooms, and how the communal areas will work.

#2 Make an inventory of the things that will already be in the home. Does it come with furniture or kitchen appliances for example?

#3 Inventory the things that you and your friends can bring to your new home. There may be duplicate items so decide who will bring what and that you have the space in the home for them. Duplicate items can be sold or donated to a worthy cause to help raise funds to pay for things that you need but don’t have.

#4 Declutter all your things getting rid of things that you no longer need or want. The fewer items you have to pack and move the easier and cheaper your home move will be. With the added bonus that selling those unwanted items will raise some cash.

#5 Decide how you will move your belongings to your new home. For local moves with no furniture, it will likely be easiest and cheapest to move yourselves by car or by hiring a small van. For long-distance moves with furniture, it may be better to hire a removal company. If you share the removal van between you and your friends it will be easier and cheaper. Some removal companies offer shared loads with other people moving to the same area which will also reduce your moving costs.

#6 Scour local shops for free moving boxes as this will reduce your moving costs. Use strong plastic bags for packing clothes and bedding to save space, especially if you are moving home by car.

#7 Start packing as soon as you can as packing can take a long time.

#8 Notify anyone that needs to know of your change of address, remembering to change your online one-click delivery address.

Useful Guides For Moving in With Friends

Our home moving blog has plenty of useful tips and guides for people wanting to move home. Here is a selection of articles that someone moving in with friends may find particularly useful:

• How to Move Out of Your Parents Home – An essential read for people moving out of their parents’ home for the first time with lots of useful tips and practical advice.
• The Ultimate Guide to Moving Into a Shared House – An invaluable guide for anyone looking at moving into a shared house
• How to Pack a Car When Moving Home – Packing tips, safety advice and more in this essential to read guide about moving home by car.
• Where to Get Free Stuff When You Move Home – There is nothing better than getting great things for free. Find out all you need to know about where to find some great things for your new home.
• Things to Know When Moving Into a Rented Property for the First Time – Avoid the pitfalls of moving into a rented property by reading this essential guide for renters.

All that remains now is to enjoy your fun-filled new life. Be mindful of each other’s needs and wants, give each other space, follow the house rules you have made with your friends, and this new chapter of your life will be an amazing experience.